Wedding Talk, Part Two: Moments
This post is
more of something for posterity, a chance to list out some fun, defining, and meaningful
moments while it’s all still fresh in my head, something to go back to years
from now so I don’t have to remember it all from scratch.
Days leading
up to the wedding
-Getting to
see Peace Corps staff again at a training: There was a time I knew every Peace
Corps volunteer in the Philippines, but that time is well passed. Instead, it’s
the staff who remain who I have shared memories with, fun people who work to
help their country by helping guide/put up with American shenanigans.
-Seeing my
supervisor again: Although Nerio, his wife Remi, and the rest of his family
couldn’t make the wedding, getting to spend lunch with him, and then do a video
call with his kids (as he always says, his two girls, and his two daughters making
four total) was a good reminder of my weekends during service, spending time
with my family in Nueva Vizcaya.
-Tin’s
graduation: Getting to be a part of Tin’s graduation, seeing her hard work over
three years pay off was a great time. Admittedly, I also was reminded of guest
speakers making long, unrelated speeches.
-Tin’s
surprise bridal shower: Tin volunteers with a barangay every Saturday, and she
is also very hard to surprise. Still, they managed it with decorations, food,
and cheers.
-Introducing
my family to the Philippines: My dad had been to the Philippines once briefly,
but my mom and sister hadn’t, and so I got to introduce them to the country of
my Peace Corps service. Of particular joy was seeing them all scrunched up in a
trike.
-Pamamanhikan:
The traditional meeting of the families, the awkwardness lasted only a few
minutes and then everyone started getting to know each other.
Before the
Wedding
-The
Rehearsal Dinner: Boni and Argy started off the speeches on a strong note, both
heartfelt. Getting to see so many people from different parts of our lives all
in one place was surreal.
-Filipino Four
Loko: There’s an infamous concoction of red horse (strong beer), genebra (gin),
and cobra (energy drink) that makes one very drunk, and very happy and excited
to drink more. Munya brought it over, Greg asked for seconds, and I (after
chugging down lots of water) slept on a wooden sofa on the porch so people
could find me easily in the morning in case I slept in.
-Horse
thief: Woke up to the sounds of people shouting. I was like, “Huh, those voices
sound familiar… nah…” and snoozed again. Turns out a horse tried to snatch our
bread for breakfast, thus the shouting.
-Action
shot: Watching the photographers try to take a picture of Tin’s wedding dress
(not her in the dress, just the dress) by throwing up the veil, and darting out
of the camera angle to try to show the veil trailing behind. Must’ve tried it
at least a dozen times.
-Moment at
the beach: Munya, Greg, my sister, and I just standing at the beach to spend
some time to ourselves before the big event, Mt. Mayon in the distance.
-Clouds: It
was a hot day, but some clouds (that didn’t rain) that came in helped a lot.
-First
glance: That first moment looking at the wedding set up floored me. It was
beautiful.
-Whacky:
Whacky shots in the Philippines are a thing. At first my own photoshoot was
pretty boring until I asked for a whacky photo. The photographers’ eyes lit up
and things turned around.
The Wedding
-Starting
out: Taking that walk, not feeling the ground beneath my feet.
-The bride:
Watching my soon-to-be-wife walk down the aisle, tears in everyone’s eyes,
seeing her in the dress she chose that was right for her, right for us.
-A strong
call for acceptance: Our pastor works for a group who primarily does church
services for the LGBT community. A very softspoken man, Pator Mike came off
strong in his ardent support for love for all.
-Help
getting up: Tin’s dress was gorgeous, but did need a little help to move to
stand up and sit down. When it was suggested for the Maids of Honor to help her
out, my best men followed soon to help lift me.
-Our vows: When
I asked other people their favorite moments, they said it was our vows. As of
writing this, still waiting for the video, which should have our vows on it.
Suffice to say, we each spoke from the heart.
-The kiss:
That moment that signaled the end of the wedding proper, our first kiss as
husband and wife.
After the
Wedding
-Lots of
sugar: One of the traditions is to have the grandparents give us each a
spoonful of sugar. Lola got as much sugar as she could on that spoon, making
for quite the mouthful.
-The dance:
Our first dance as husband and wife, and then bringing our parents up. My
mother-in-law’s words in particular, her hopes for us struck home.
-Funny cake:
The bottom layer of the cake was real, the top two were styrofoam covered in
frosting. It took both of us with both hands to cut the styrofoam, and whereas
I gave her the frosting, I got the non-edible part. I slipped it out of my
mouth when eyes were turned away.
-The
speeches: From Munya reminding me of the first night I drank that Filipino Four
Loko and learning new things about that hazy night myself, to the heartfelt
compliments to Tin and my relationship, to my sister discussing our own
dynamics growing up, and finally to Ambet quite incorrectly suggesting that
Boni and I aren’t funny, the speeches gave us a lot to be proud of, and a lot
to look forward to.
-“Congratulations!”:
The heat of the day did get to Tin during picture-taking, and as she was queasy,
everyone around her couldn’t help but crack pregnant jokes (to be clear we’re
not having any children yet).
-“100”:
Although we left the festivities early, we could hear Munya’s celebratory shout
when he got 100 at videoke.
The
Following Days
-Talks: Despite
our best efforts, we didn’t get to talk too much to people once the wedding
started. That morning we got up early to say goodbye to those heading for a
morning flight. For the others we got to sit down and just hang out.
-Instax
camera: Stephanie wanted that instax (polaroid) camera really bad, but Brian
won it in the end. Their rivalry that morning was fun to watch.
-“Ooh!”: We
took a number of the guests with us to Tin’s house. I got a shower, and sort of
forgot my new wedding band in the restroom, resulting in a big “ooh!” from
everyone.
-Goodbyes:
It was bittersweet after so many hello’s, to say as many goodbyes as people had
flights and cars to catch.
-ATVs: A
group of us rode ATVs through rivers and to the base of the volcano. Although
one of our number had an accident, it was overall a fun time with great views.
-Politics,
society, and life: A lot of Tin and my relationship is from talking about deep,
nuanced topics from the world as well as our own life. It was great talking for
hours with Rachel and sharing those conversations with someone else.
-Whale
sharks: We did some final touring with my parents and at Legazpi Bay got to see
about half-a-dozen whale sharks off the coast.
-A movie and
snacks: I watched Maleficient Mistress of Evil with Tin, Stephanie, and their
mom, and then after got my snacks to bring back. Mm, mm chili-mansi pancit
canton.
-A brief,
but full honeymoon: We had our short honeymoon at a place called “Your Brother
House”. It was a chance to get away briefly.
-A carrot
and giraffe-alligator: Got Tin a carrot and a hybrid
alligator-that-turns-into-a-giraffe stuffed toys as a parting gift.
-My car
working despite leaving it at the airport parking lot with the “check engine”
light on for 18 days.
For part
three I’ll talk about being an ally, and some concluding thoughts about our
special day.
